


True Courage

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, Gen, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-07 02:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10350615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: SPOILERS: Stargate the Movie, Solitudes, Fire and Water, Shades of GreyJack is forced to endure a test





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

True Courage

##  True Courage 

##### Written by Margo   
Comments? Write to us at margomls@aol.com

****

Part 1

SG-1 stood at the base of the ramp leading up to the Stargate, ready to gate out to P4X379. Everyone was ready, except the leader of SG-1, Colonel Jack O'Neill. Completely out of character, the Colonel was late for the departure, leaving the rest of the team anxiously awaiting his arrival. 

"Does anyone think this is a bit unusual for Jack?" Daniel Jackson, the ever-questioning archeologist and wonder boy of SG 1 asked. Daniel had been the one to figure out how to make the Stargate work several years before and he glanced worriedly at the others." I mean, he just seemed so distant the last couple of weeks, and now he’s late for a mission!" 

"O'Neill, has most certainly not been himself as of late." Teal'c, the recruited alien of the team, whose loyalty and experience had become invaluable to the entire Stargate program, nodded in agreement. 

Just as Daniel was about to comment the very person being discussed walked through the blast doors. 

"Okay, campers let's move it!" Jack barked impatiently. 

"Jack, is everything all right?" Daniel questioned, eyeing him with concern. 

"Sir? It 's not like you to be late for a mission." Major Carter, the scientist and astrophysicist of SG-1 glanced at her CO, wondering what was wrong. 

"Let's rock and roll," Jack said, completely ignoring their questions. The last chevron engaged and he stepped through the wormhole first. 

'Oh sure, Jack everything is all right, just ignore whatever it is. Typical. ' Daniel thought as he followed his friend through the wormhole. 

Jack emerged from the Stargate, immediately scanning the area for any danger. Trees, trees and more trees, just the way he liked it. 'Great,' he thought, 'now I've got the team worrying about me, all because of those damn nightmares! Why can't Doc just give me something to help me sleep?' 

As much as he hated taking medication, he knew it would be worth it to get just one night of good sleep. He also knew Doc Fraiser would be all over him, if he asked for any sleeping pills. She would be running all of kinds of tests and that was something he'd rather avoid. 

"Fan out kids, and keep your eyes open," he shouted, when the others stepped out of the wormhole behind him. 

"It would be highly unproductive to close our eyes, O'Neill. Why would you think we would do such a thing?" Teal'c questioned. 

"No, Teal'c it's just a saying, never mind," Jack tried to explain, unable to hide his irritation. 

"Sir, the UAV indicated structures in that direction." Carter spoke up, noticing the sharp tone her CO had used. Very strange indeed. The Colonel usually loved to tease Teal'c with such jokes, but this time the question seemed to make him more uptight. 

"There is something about this place. It just doesn't feel right. Does anyone else sense anything out of the ordinary?" Jack looked around restlessly. He couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, thinking 'out of the ordinary, get real O'Neill, my God you're on an alien planet, a million light years from home, how can it possibly feel right? But still, those tiny hairs on the back of my neck are starting to stand up!' 

Teal'c noticed the stiff posture O'Neill had assumed and how his hands nervously cradled his weapon. Over the years since he joined the Tau'ri, Teal'c had learned to listen to O'Neill's instincts. The Colonel was always in tune to his surroundings and could usually spot trouble in advance. Teal'c as always was ready for anything that might arise, even more so since O'Neill had voiced some concerns. 

Major Carter quickly assessed the area but didn't see any apparent danger. Knowing however that Colonel O'Neill 's instinct were usually right on the money, she stood with her weapon ready. 

"Jack, can we go? We're as careful as always, so…" Daniel asked impatiently, as always wanting to get to the structures to see what exciting new things could be studied. 

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go. Just stay alert and Daniel, don't go running off, please!" Jack said as he led his little group of explorers away from the Stargate. "Teal'c, watch our six!" 

The further away from the gate they moved the more nervous Jack became. He just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. The terrain had changed a bit; a few more small hills had made their appearance. As the group neared a rocky steep incline, Jack decided this would be a good place to set up their camp, so he called a halt for the day. 

"Okay campers, let's make camp here." The rocks behind them would provide cover. Camp was set up in no time, and soon they all enjoyed their MRE's. Relaxing and talking, the team was sitting around discussing their plans for the next days. Jack had ceased to be involved with the friendly discussion going on and had moved towards the perimeter to check things out. Daniel moved out to sit with him. 

"So, Jack what is really going on? You seem distracted," Daniel nervously asked. He knew Jack didn't like to talk unless it was his idea, but he was worried about his friend. 

Jack looked up and stared at Daniel's face. He could see all the worry and concern there. Damn, once again, he was hurting the people he cared most about. The decision made, he decided to have a talk with the team. They were his friends. Really, they were as close as family. 

"Come on Daniel, I wanted to talk to all of you anyway." 

"Okay, guys, time for the Jack confession moment. I'm really sorry to be causing you guys to worry about me. I know I haven't been myself lately." 

"Jack," Daniel started to interject, but Jack stopped him. 

"Just let me finish, okay, Daniel?" 

"There’s a lot in my past I’ve never talked about, dark stuff that I keep buried deep. Works most of the time. I don’t know why, but lately it’s creeping back into my nightmares. I haven’t been sleeping very well for the last few weeks." At that moment Jack’s face became very dark and tortured. They could all feel the pain and confusion Jack must have been feeling. Just as quickly he concealed his emotions once again. "Okay, kids let’s get some sleep. Daniel take first watch, wake me in 2." Jack stood up and disappeared into his tent. 

"Well, I guess to Jack that is a confession. " Daniel stated, concern still evident in his voice. 

Teal’c and Sam said their goodnights to Daniel and ducked inside their tents. 

Daniel was walking around trying to stay warm and also trying to stay awake. He heard a noise and quickly pulled his gun from the holster, trying to determine which direction the sound had come from. Slowly moving toward the tents, with the intent of waking the rest of the team, he realized the noise was coming from Jack’s tent. Slipping his weapon back into the holster, he knelt down in front of the tent. 

"Jack, you okay?" Daniel could tell his friend was in the throes of a nightmare. When he failed to receive an answer he slipped inside the tent. The military man was tossing and turning and sweat was evident on his face. Daniel softly and slowly began talking to Jack and lightly touched his shoulder. The Colonel lashed out hitting Daniel across the face and before he had a chance to recover, Jack had his hands around his throat. 

"Ja…ck," the archeologist was gasping for breath. "Jac..k it’s Dan…iel." 

Daniel could tell the minute his friend had awakened. The tight grasp loosened on his neck and he fell back trying to catch his breath. 

"Oh, God, Daniel I’m sorry." Jack’s shocked-laced voice was barely audible. He was on his knees with his head cradled in his hands. 

"O’Neill, do you require assistance?" The Jaffa had heard the commotion. 

"Teal’c, what’s happening?" Sam had also heard the commotion and had come to check. 

"It’s okay guys, everything is fine." Daniel exited the tent, leaving a dazed O’Neill inside. He was still shocked by, what had happened, but he tried to ease the concerns of the other two teammates. 

"Jack had a nightmare. He’s a little dazed, but he’s okay." No way was he going to tell them their CO had attacked him. 

"A nightmare, Daniel! I tried to kill you!" Jack came tearing out of the tent, pacing, rubbing his hands across his face. 

"Sir, " Now that Sam got a better look at Daniel, she saw the blood running from his lip and the discoloration around his neck. "What happened here?" She had to know what had transpired. 

"Oh, nothing much Carter, your CO just attacked one of his team!" Jack stopped the relentless pacing and yelled out. His head dropped to his chest and in a quieter voice continued, "God, I’m really losing it here." 

"Jack, you didn’t know it was me, it was the nightmare." Daniel was trying to reassure his friend. "Any way it was my fault, I know better than to approach you without a warning." 

Jack looked at Daniel and shook his hand. "No Daniel this is my fault. Your were trying to help me. " 

"Maybe it would help if you talked about it, Jack." Daniel knew their CO was not much into discussing his past. But maybe, just maybe this time it would help. 

Jack stared at him and Daniel could tell his friend was going to avoid this suggestion. Daniel was already walking toward his tent when Jack began to speak. 

"Maybe," Jack moved over closer to the fire and sat down. He was staring not really seeing anything, just thinking trying to gather his thoughts. "Well, like I said for the last several weeks I have been plagued by nightmares. The same one over and over again. I don’t really know why this particular one, doesn’t really matter." 

"There was one mission screwed up from the start, but unfortunately my team didn’t know until it was already too late. The brass suspected a leak, my team was sent in for Intel, or so we thought. The real mission was to flush out the traitor, that snitch had been selling info to the highest bidder. Anyway, during the whole mess a family was caught in the middle and the SOB tried to use the family to make his exit. I knew we couldn't allow him to escape, we had to do whatever was necessary." Jack's voice trailed off and an anguished look appeared on his face. 

They all realized Jack had not talked about this since the post mission brief and they all felt a longing to try and help their friend. Carter, Daniel and Teal'c all moved a little closer to Jack, Daniel laying his hand on their friend's shoulder. 

"He shot the parents just to let us know he was serious….. and dragged the crying little girl back through the door with him. I followed him down the hall and sent the team to work around to the back of him. "She…" he stammered, "… she was crying and pleading for my help." 

Jack paused again and the team could see the tears forming in his eyes. "I could tell time was running out for her. That snake just loved to torment people. It was all a game to him. I knew that and still couldn't do a damn thing about it. I can never do enough…. I kept hoping for an opening, just waiting and then Billy came out of nowhere and tried to grab the guy, but instead all he got for his effort was a gunshot wound to the face." 

Again Jack' s voice trailed off. "Too slow, I was just too damn slow to help him. I charged toward the maniac but I guess he knew he was leaving there in a bag, because at that moment he shot that little girl in the head…" Jack dropped his head into his hands trying to get his breathing under control before he totally lost it. 

His team sat motionless, giving him all the time and space he needed. When he finally looked up at them, they could see the haunted look on his face. 

"It was **MY** fault! I couldn't get to that kid, just like I couldn't save Charlie. She was so close to me that I ended up covered in her blood and, well, brains. I went crazy and grabbed the SOB and killed him with my bare hands." At that moment his gaze shifted to his hands and he started to rub them, as if trying to wipe them clean. He didn't pay attention to the shocked expression on the faces of both Carter and Daniel. 

"I keep seeing that girl and Charlie in my nightmares, it's so damn real." Jack stopped, unable to say more, to say what he was thinking, that he was afraid to sleep. That he didn’t know what was going on, that he’d thought all this was in his past, over with.’ But, I guess when you've been involved in as much violence as I have, it's never truly gone.’ he told himself. Anguish and pain clearly showing in the brown eyes 

"Sir, you've devoted your whole life to serving your country. Yes, there have been unpleasant things that you have done and seen but you have to know how much good you’ve accomplished. I, we are sorry for all the darkness that you have experienced, but I for one would like to thank you for fighting for us all. You are the finest CO I have ever had, and your judgment, experience and leadership are something that I will always cherish. I know that sounds sappy, but that's how I feel! Please, Sir, please know how much good you have done in your life and try to remember that also, along with the bad." Carter stressed to him in an attempt to help him. He had to realize how important he was to them all, hell to the whole Planet. 

"O'Neill, Major Carter speaks the truth," Teal'c as always kept it short and to the point. 

"Jack, thank you for sharing this with us. We know it was not easy telling us those things. Maybe since you have talked about it, the nightmares will go away. If not, we will be there to hold your hand if that‘s what you need," Daniel added; thinking that maybe trying to lighten the mood would help. 

Jack looked into their faces and gave them his O'Neill grin. "Well, Danny knowing that you want to hold my hand is enough to give me new nightmares to replace the old." He slapped Daniel on the shoulder. 

""Okay, let’s get some more sleep." 

"O'Neill, I will take over watch," Teal'c stated, already getting to his feet. 

"Okay, Teal'c wake Carter in 2 hours I will take the morning shift. Hope you like your coffee strong, I am going to get some sleep." He felt more positive about that prospect than he had in weeks. Maybe talking did some good after all. Jack ducked inside his tent. 

The rest of the team started to move toward their tents knowing full well that if Jack needed them, they would be ready to help. 

Several hours later, Carter woke the Colonel. Jack had rested well and actually felt better than he had in weeks. "Sir, did you sleep all right?" Sam questioned. 

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did," Jack was happy to be able to say that. "Anything I need to be aware of? Seems quiet enough, but I still have that itchy feeling. It's like I'm being watched." 

"No, it's been real quiet. Maybe you were just tired and on the edge." Carter tried to get her CO to relax. However, knowing O’Neill’s instincts were usually right on target, she was also concerned. 

"Okay, Carter, get some sleep. We will be moving out first thing in the morning." 

The rest of the night everything seemed quiet without even a stray animal to disturb the stillness. Still, Jack admitted he would have preferred at least some noise. It was just too damn quiet! 

"Rise and Shine campers! Come on, we’ve got a long walk ahead of us. Get up Daniel, boy you're really not a morning person, are you?" Jack just had to kid Daniel; he was feeling much better this morning; after a good night's sleep. 

After a breakfast of coffee and MRE bars, the group set out for the structures the UAV detected. It was a beautiful day, not too hot or cold, just enough trees to keep Jack's interest and just hills, no mountains to climb. The UAV indicated it was probably another 10 miles to their destination. 

"So, Jack how are you really? I know you're not much into sharing, although it did seem to help. You slept better last night, didn't you?" Daniel asked as he dropped back and came up beside Jack. 

"Daniel, I'm fine. I'm sorry I had you guys worried. I don't know… Nightmares have been a part of my life for so long, these were somehow different. They were so real, it was… I don't know, just so real." His voice trailed off again. "But I do feel much better now. Thanks for listening and for what you said." 

"Jack, you are always there for us. That's what friends are for." Daniel wanted to help Jack lay these particular demons to rest. He just hoped Jack was being honest about how he was handling all this. Their CO had a bad habit of burying things deep in his mind. Daniel was convinced that would come back to haunt him someday. He just hoped he and the team would be there to help when that happened and that Jack would accept that help. 

"O'Neill, the village is just ahead. There is movement but I kept out of sight until you were ready to make contact," Teal'c reported after returning from scouting. 

"Did you spot any weapons, Teal'c?" Jack asked, signaling for the team to stop so they could regroup and plan their approach the village. 

"The inhabitants seem primitive, no more than knives, spears, and bows. But as I stated, my proximity was not close." 

"Okay, let's go make nice with the locals. Daniel, do the intro as always." 

As the team neared the village, several men dressed in brown leather vests and pants armed with bows, spears and knives approached them, just like Teal'c had reported. The structures appeared to be simple in construction. As they neared the group of men, Daniel stepped out front to begin communications. 

"Hi. I'm Daniel Jackson; this is Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter and Teal'c. We are peaceful explorers from Earth. We came through the Stargate… you know, the big circle located in that direction." With that he pointed in the direction they had come from. 

"We know of the Great Circle. Others have come here before you, claiming to be friends. That was not always the case. Why should we believe that you mean us no harm?" the older of these men asked. With that he faced Jack and stated, "You are the leader of the pack. We have been observing you for some time. Would you be willing to go through the test to prove your world can be trusted? You will be tested to see if your kind is trustworthy." 

Jack stepped up, his face emotionless, "What kind of test are we talking about here? If it's a written test, you might as well fail me now, I hate those things!" Jack went on; realizing his joke had failed miserably, "Okay, I guess you and I should talk. Give me a minute here with my te…. huh, pack." Jack turned and started to lead the team back just a bit. "Okay, guys what do you think? Is this a world we want to be friends with?" 

"Jack, the more allies we make, the better off we will be," Daniel started. 

"And besides, all four of us are in this together, I think we can probably figure it out." 

"Daniel Jackson, the leader did not say what type of test we must endure," Teal'c said matter of fact. 

"Teal'c is correct, Sir. We should probably find out what kind of test will be presented," Carter interjected. 

"Oh, for crying out loud. I'll go talk to the leader of the pack." Jack was getting slightly irritated with the whole affair. Politics was not his strong point, though at times he had surprised his team with his diplomacy. 

"Hey, I need to ask a few more questions, if I might be allowed?" Jack started walking toward the natives as he asked. "You can call me O'Neill. What do I call you? 

The leader approached Jack, "You may call me Krozack, and I am the leader of my pack. There are 69 men, women and children in my pack and I am responsible for them all. That is why I have to know that you are a people we can trust. We need to find out if you are ones we can trust and believe in. So you will be tested. You as the leader can be the only one to undertake it or you may choose one or all of the others. But you are responsible for their actions. Who do you choose?" 

"Whoa, hold your horses there, is this a physical test or what?" Jack insisted as the rest of the team came up beside him. 

"I don't understand what you mean. But the time is near to get started, you chose or I will pick the first one to be tested," Krozack said as he motioned for the men to surround the team. 

The several men that were surrounding them gave Jack an unnerving feeling and he decided it was better to leave. "Maybe we'll just go, if that's all right with you?" The men stepped closer, and Jack knew they were in trouble. He had allowed the group to get too close and it would be impossible to defend themselves now, even though they had more superior weapons. There were far too many to fight in close quarters. He decided to make a choice and try to sort it out later. "Me, I choose me. But your word, you will leave the rest of my team... uh pack alone." He signaled for the team to drop their weapons as he did the same. 

"Jack, no, let's talk about this," Daniel pleaded, wondering what this testing could be. 

"Sir, I don't think this is a good idea," added Carter. 

"O'Neill, you do not have enough information to make this decision." Teal'c's expression was stoic as ever, but anyone who knew what to look for could see the tension in his face. 

"Does it say Colonel anywhere on my jacket? It's a done deal kids. We can work through this later, I hope." There was no arguing with Jack about this; he had made up his mind. 

"So be it, take and prepare him," Krozack stood in front of Jack. "You are a brave man to endure our test. Remember: if you fail, I'll continue with another of your pack." 

"Krozack, you don't need to do this. We are telling you the truth. We came in peace." Daniel was suddenly desperate to stop this. "Explain to us what is going on please." 

Krozack was impressed with the loyalty with this pack. "I will allow you to watch but you can not interfere, is that understood?" He turned and faced Jack, "if our rules are broken by your pack, you as the leader will endure punishment. They cannot intervene in the test. Understood?" 

"They will not break your rules." Looking into his friends' faces, he said, "Right guys?" Facing Krozack, Jack said, "Give me your word my team will not be harmed if they stay out of this." 

"You have my word, O'Neill." 

"Then let's get this show on the road. Come on, guys," Jack started walking toward the village. He at least wanted to make their captors believe he was making the decisions. That it was his choice to go with them. 

The team was taken to one of the structures and led inside. Their gear was deposited in the corner, minus their weapons of course. It was a cozy little hut, with a fire and some basic furniture. The beds were simple, made with skins, but they looked comfortable. Outside there seemed to be a lot of noise, talking, maybe even arguing between the villagers. There were several armed men posted around the hut. The team could not believe the mess they had walked into. 

"Jack, don't do this. We have no idea what they are about to do." Daniel was still trying to figure some way out of this. 

"Look, it will be all right, just trust me, okay? I'll do whatever this crazy testing is about and we all can go home." Jack had to make them understand. "I am ordering you to stay out of this. Carter, I am depending on you to make sure my orders are followed, understood?" 

"Yes, Sir." 

They all sat in silence; each lost in his or her own thoughts and concerns. Day turned to night and there was still no sign of the villagers. Finally, a noise alerted the team to company. Three women entered with food and water for the team, though none of them appeared very hungry. Krozack entered and said to Jack. ,"You really need to take nourishment, you may not feel like eating the next time. Also, get some sleep, the test begins with the next sun." With that he turned and left. 

"So there, you heard the man, eat and sleep." Jack certainly wasn't hungry now, but for the sake of appearance he decided to try. He wanted to alleviate some of the team's worry. "How about this food guys, pretty good, huh? And the water is better than beer." At least that got a little chuckle from Daniel and Sam. Glancing toward Teal'c he couldn't miss the raised eyebrow. 

They all managed to eat and drink a little then proceeded to sort out the beds. It didn't appear any of them would be getting much sleep, though. Jack lay there for a while, just thinking. What dumb luck his team had! He finally decided that he indeed needed the rest so he turned over and closed his eyes, hoping that the nightmares would stay away. He could hear the slow, steady breathing of his team and it lulled him to sleep. 

******************************************* 

Part 2 

Just as promised with the sunrise, Krozack came in with three huge men to retrieve Jack. They bound his hands behind his back, ignoring the sounds of protest from the others and led him outside to the center of the village. Jack looked at Krozack. "Remember, do not hurt my team. You gave me your word." And with that he shot his team one of those rare O'Neill smiles. 

"I can be trusted. We will see if the same is true for you and your kind. It is time to begin," with that he pulled a knife from his belt and in a quick flash he stabbed Jack in the side. 

Jack, being restrained, grunted but didn't flinch. In the background Sam, Daniel and Teal'c witnessed the attack in shock. Daniel started to move forward. 

"What kind of test is this? Are you crazy?" he shouted outraged. 

Krozack threw him a warning look and Daniel was held back by Sam and Teal'c. "Daniel, do as the Colonel said. Follow his orders," Sam also wanted to help, but she respected the faith her CO had in her. He wanted her to keep the rest of the team safe. 

"O'Neill, are you ready for another to take your place?" 

"No way, give it your best shot," Jack was trying to push the pain aside. 

"Very well, tie him to the post and let's begin." 

Daniel, Sam and Teal'c watched in horror as the men of the village started beating their CO and friend. The whole time Jack was talking and trying to make his team think he was doing all right. Every now and then he would look in their direction and give them a smile. After what seemed like hours, Jack was cut down and told to return to the hut. Several men tried to help him walk but he shook them loose and somehow stayed on his feet long enough to make it to his team. By the time he reached Teal'c, Sam and Daniel, all his strength was gone, but Teal'c was there to assist him. 

"Let's get inside, kids." Jack panted. 

Teal'c gently led him to a pallet and helped him to sit down. Every movement caused pain; that was plain to see in Jack's face. Although his stubbornness and pride would not allow him to show the villagers how much he had been injured, he had let his guard down once they were inside the shelter. 

"Sir, let me check you over." Carter tried to remove his jacket, but the movement caused him to start coughing. Teal'c leaned him up against his chest and held him firmly as Jack coughed. As Teal'c laid him back on the pallet, his eyes rolled up in his head and he passed out. Sam pulled herself together and began to examine her CO. The wound in the side was still bleeding, so she cleaned it with water. "Daniel, get the field dressings for me, we need to get this bandaged." She could hear Daniel rummaging through the packs and then he passed her the package. 

"Sam, is he all right?" 

"Daniel, I don't know, you saw what they did to him. I just hope they allow us to take him home tomorrow. Hopefully, this damn test is over." 

"It is not." They all turned to see Krozack standing in the doorway. "It takes three days to complete the test." 

"WHAT? You can't do that! Jack has been through enough, please let us take him home. You're killing him!" Daniel knew he was pleading, but he couldn't help it. He was worried about his friend. 

"Your leader made a commitment, do you not believe in him?" 

"Believe in him, we trust him with our lives, of course we believe in him!" Daniel was almost yelling. "But I cannot stand by and watch him die." 

"Daniel, your leader has made a choice to protect you and your kind, show him the respect he deserves." Krozack was beginning to see the love and devotion these humans had for each other. But still, the test had to go on. It had always been so, and had to remain that way. "You may try and help him, I will have food and water brought to you." Krozack turned and walked out. 

Jack was beginning to moan and moved around. He abruptly sat up and wished he hadn't. Pain filled eyes looked at the faces around him. Teal'c gently lowered him back to the pallet. Sam and Daniel were both by his side trying to ease the pain. Jack closed his eyes and tried to gain control over his ragged breathing. 

"Sir, let me finish dressing that wound in your side. Where else does it hurt, Colonel?" Carter was trying to stay calm. 

"I think ……think I may have a broken rib," Jack was trying to catch his breath, "what about my face, I do still have my boyish looks, don't I?" He wanted to lighten up the mood. 

"Oh, right Jack, as many fights as you started? Your face was messed up a long time ago!" Daniel was trying to play along. 

"HA, HA, don't make me laugh…" another coughing spell and Jack was gasping for breath. Teal'c sat him up to help him breathe easier. 

"Easy, Jack slow, even breaths, in and out…" Daniel was trying to help his friend. 

"Sir, please lay down and don't talk, save your strength. Do you think you might be able to drink a little water?" Carter asked as she lifted a cup to his mouth. 

Jack was so thirsty, but only able to take in a little water. He laid back and tried to push the pain back to a more bearable level. This was old news to him, but it seemed so difficult this time. 'Just relax Jack. You can do this. I cannot fail. I'll be damned if I put my team through this, not going to happen. Kro whatever his name is gave his word. Only two more days of this, easy stuff.' He opened his eyes and looked around, his team with concern on their faces watching him like a hawk. He gave them a slight grin trying to look convincing. "Carter, let's get these ribs wrapped and I'll be as good as new." He hoped he sounded convincing. 

"Yes, Sir," she moved over and started taking his jacket and shirt off. Daniel and Teal'c supported and assisted him as best as they could. Once his ribs were securely wrapped, they eased him back on the pallet. All his strength seemed to be depleted and all he wanted to do was sleep." I think I'm going to just rest my eyes for a minute," Jack said tiredly. With the group keeping vigil he appeared to fall asleep. 

"Major Carter he cannot endure more of this," Teal'c stated. 

The tension and stress of the day was also getting to him. He did not like to see his friend in this condition. 

"He gave us an order, we have to trust him." Carter didn't like this either but her CO trusted her to look out for the team. 

Krozack had been outside the hut listening to the conversation. He was beginning to feel bad about the whole situation. As the leader of his people he had to be certain these humans were, as they seemed to be. Jack O'Neill had proven today that he was loyal and compassionate. Maybe none of this was necessary but it couldn't be stopped, there was too much at stake. Many cycles ago, visitors had come speaking of friendship and trust. Before they left, the land and many of his people had perished. No, it had to continue, O'Neill had made the decision and Krozack suspected, no he knew, this man would endure whatever was necessary to keep his pack safe. He was a man of his word; that he was certain of. 

The team looked to Krozack as he entered the hut, "How is your leader? Tomorrow our Spiritual Leader will look into O'Neill's heart and soul. We will soon know what kind of man he truly is." 

"What do you mean he will look into his heart and soul?" Daniel couldn't help but be curious. 

"We cannot speak of it, but you can be there. Remember that you must not interfere. I will return at first light." With that the leader turned and left. 

"Daniel, what do you think?" Sam was puzzled. 

"Well, I’m not sure. The Spiritual Leader may just do a few chants and leave him alone. I just don't know." Daniel was indeed concerned, physical abuse Jack could handle, but if somehow they were able to delve into his emotional state, it could all come tumbling down. He just hoped they could help if that happened. 

The team sat in silence, until it was time to try and get some sleep. They all retreated to their beds lost in their own thoughts and concerns. Daniel was lying as close to Jack as possible in case he was needed. He just couldn't believe Jack was being tortured again. He had been through so much in his life; had lost so much and now once again he had put himself in harms way to protect those around him. Why couldn't Krozack see what a good man Jack really was? Why did his friend have to endure all this pain again? 

Daniel woke up to find Jack tossing and moaning. O’Neill was talking and writhing on the pallet and Daniel held his shoulder still, talking softly in an attempt to ease his friend's pain. The sweat and pain was evident on his face, Daniel shook him gently to awaken him. "Jack, wake up," speaking softly so he wouldn't surprise him. 

Jack startled awake. "Oh man, what hit me? Daniel you okay? Help me up, will you?" 

"Jack, I don't think that's a good idea. You're hurt and I don't think you should move around. Would you like some water?" 

"Yeah, Thanks." 

Daniel helped him sit and sip some water. "Not too fast Jack. Take it easy, I don't think with those ribs you want to be moving around too much." 

"Did I miss anything, Daniel?" 

"Krozack paid a visit. It sounds like you get to meet the Spiritual Leader next." Sam had heard the noise and had also awakened. 

"O'Neill, he would not tell us about tomorrow's test. I believe it is in everyone's best interest to let me proceed with the testing. My symbiote would help protect me." Teal'c wanted his friend to see that he would be the logical choice to endure the remaining test. 

"Teal'c, like I said… this is not… up for debate. The decision… has been made." Jack was gasping, barely able to catch his breath. 

Daniel once again was there to help him with his breathing. Sweating profusely, pain evident in his face and fist clutched hands holding his side; Jack was trying to get his breathing under control. Daniel was coaching, "Jack, in and out, take easy slow breaths." Daniel, having allergies, was used to having to regulate his breathing from time to time. Jack was starting to relax and his eyes were getting heavy. Daniel kept his hand on Jack's shoulder for reassurance, just like Jack had often done for him, until the older man dozed off again. 

*************************** ****

Part 3 

Morning came all too soon; Krozack and the man they assumed was the Spiritual Leader arrived. Sam was busy checking Jack's bandage trying to make sure the bleeding had stopped from the knife wound. She also wanted to make sure he had some water, so he wouldn't get dehydrated. The teammates all looked at the opening as the sun was let in. Jack was struggling to get to his feet; he was determined to walk out of there on his own. He knew his friends would be there to catch him if needed. But they also knew, he didn't like to show weakness; this would give him some control over the situation. 

Jack looked into the faces of his captors and slowly started walking out, Krozack taking the lead. The team flanked Jack as he walked. They were followed and surrounded by the villagers, most of them armed with bows, arrows, and knives. Sam had considered the possibility of escape, but now realized that was not an option. Again, at first glance it seemed so peaceful here. Only, the Colonel had sensed any danger, his instincts were usually right on target. She wished once again that they had retreated back to the Stargate before any of this had started. 

"So, Krozack what kind of fun do you have planned for today?" Again, Jack's humor was lost on this group; they stared at him not understanding the context of his statement. Jack's body was protesting the walk and he just wished they would arrive at their destination. At that very moment the group was halted. They stood in front of some sort of temple; Jack was led up the stairs and tied to a post in the center of the structure. The rest of the group kept their distant, all except Teal'c, Sam, and Daniel, they wanted to stay as close to their friend as possible. Krozack approached them and halted their progress. 

"He must do this on his own. We will see what his heart and soul has to offer. This is Razteb, our Spiritual Leader. He can see inside his heart and soul and seek out the truth." 

The Spiritual Leader approached Jack with a cup and poured the contents into his mouth. He held his hand over the injured man’s mouth and forced him to swallow. 

Razteb started to chant and dance throwing a dust like material around, the rest of the group remained quiet. Daniel was fascinated with the proceedings but he kept his eyes glued on Jack, watching for any reactions. About an hour later, Daniel noticed Jack flinching and struggling, and his breathing was becoming labored. 

"Sam, do you see Jack? What's going on? What was that stuff?" Daniel wanted to go to his friend's side. 

"I don't know, Daniel," she hissed, taking in the scene in front of her. Her mind raced. "It must be some hallucination drug, something that triggers old memories. Damn!" 

Jack was obviously relieving something from his past; his face was showing pain and confusion. He was sweating, and all at once he screamed out: "Charlie, no God no!" His chest was heaving but the most painful thing to see was the look on his face. It was a look of total devastation! 

"Stop this, please!" Daniel was pleading. He didn't want his friend to relive this…Only he knew had hard it had been for Jack to learn to live with the tragedy of his young son's death. Teal'c and Sam had not seen Jack on that first mission to Abydos, the coldhearted man who had wanted to die, the man without the will to go on living. He was a different person then, a hard-nosed by the book Colonel; a no one gets in the way of the mission man. Yeah, Jack was definitely a different man now. He was always joking around, trying to lighten the load for everybody. Daniel was afraid what this was doing to his friend, what impact this would have on him. 

Teal'c also wanted to assist his friend, but he and Sam grabbed Daniel's arms to keep him from running up the stairs. They knew there were far too many villagers to confront. So they were forced to just stand and watch their CO and friend reliving his worst nightmares. 

Half an hour later, O’Neill appeared to be more relaxed, while the Spiritual Leader continued his dance. Jack had a blank look on his face, it was eerie, no emotion. And in the next instance, his face contorted into hatred, he started yelling in Arabic, struggling and once again his breathing became labored. All the team could do was watch the horrific scene playing out in front of them. He calmed himself down and started reciting 'Major, Jonathan O'Neill, USAF' over and over again. Ever so often he would flinch and grunt like he had been struck. He was sweating and his face showed the pain of blows only, he could see and feel. Finally his head dropped to his chest, exhausted. Still trying to recite his name, rank and serial number; his voice was barely a whisper. 

Daniel exchanged a worried glance with Sam. He'd understood the words in Arabic, only he had no idea where they came from. Another part of Jack's past was being revealed to them, without the Colonel's consent. 

Teal'c could take no more and lunged forward toward his friend, the man who had freed him from the false Gods. From the first time Teal'c had seen this human he knew that this was a man of honor and strength. Teal'c knew his best chance to free his people would be to join the Tau'ri, especially the one known as O'Neill. He had the heart and soul of a lion and he wished these villagers could see that. If all the Tau'ri were like O'Neill the universe would be a much better place. But unfortunately, this was not the case. So even if they deemed his world worthy of trust and friendship, he was the exception, not the norm for the human race. 

Teal'c was immediately restrained by four of the villagers, knives pointed at his chest. The closeness and loyalties of this group had impressed Krozack. He was really beginning to doubt the necessity of this testing. Although it was only early in the afternoon, he decided to end it for the day. 

"The testing is complete for today. Take them back to their hut. Give them food and water. I will be in later." With that Krozack walked away. He had some thinking to do, wondering if they had made a mistake. Were these visitors different, did they speak the truth? One more day of testing and he would know for sure. This O'Neill was different from any other visitor he had encountered. He had to meet with Razteb to find out what the heart and soul had revealed. There seemed to be a lot of pain and sorrow living in the depths of this human. 

Teal'c was practically carrying Jack through the village. O’Neill had not spoken or made a sound since the encounter with the Spiritual Leader. His face had a blank look; it was frightening to see Jack like that. His eyes always held such expression. Daniel and Sam kept exchanging glances, worry evident in their faces. They led him to the pallet and helped him to lie down. 

Two women entered the hut with food and water. They also brought extra water in a bucket with some rags. Sam took one of the rags and wet it with the intention of wiping Jack's face but as she approached him he got a wild look in his face and started fighting. Yelling, kicking and fists flying, hitting Sam. Teal'c was trying to restrict his movement without hurting his injuries. Daniel appeared to be in shock, not moving. 

"Daniel, help us before he hurts himself! Daniel!" Sam yelled. 

Daniel jumped in and restrained his legs, seeing that Jack was calming down; they all loosened their grips on him. 

"Oh God, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I… I thought… I don't know, what I thought." Rubbing his face with his hand. Jack just said over and over "I'm sorry, are you …guys alright? I didn't hurt anyone, did I?" Once again his breathing was becoming labored. Sweat was pouring down his face, pain evident in his eyes. His eyes not focusing, that blank look returning. 

"Jack, look at me, its Daniel, can you see me?" 

"Daniel, what are you doing here? No, no you're not supposed to be here." It had to be a trick; Daniel was not in Iraq, the face of another prisoner superimposed over Daniel. A prisoner Jack was unable to help, all he could do was hold his hand and talk to him while he died. Not Daniel, Daniel was not there, "Daniel," Jack yelled and grabbed for Daniel's arm. Daniel embraced Jack and held him until the tremors had eased. 

"Sam, he needs help. We have got to get him to Janet!" concern was evident in Daniel's voice." 

"Daniel, I know. I have no idea what that stuff was they forced him to drink." 

Daniel eased Jack back down on the pallet and joined Sam and Teal'c over in the corner. They couldn't keep their eyes away from their friend. Jack was still moaning and shifting, pain and sorrow etched deep in his face and eyes. Daniel had wiped his sweat-covered face with water, but once again sweat was pouring down his face. 

"Guys, what are we going to do, how can we help him?" Daniel felt so helpless. 

"All we can do is be there for him, Daniel. I just wish they would let us go. He needs medical help. Besides the broken ribs and knife wound, I can't tell what else might be wrong. But emotionally, I don't think he can take much more. He doesn't have much strength left to fight the emotionally battles." Concern was evident in Sam's voice. 

"What more can they possibly do to him? Do they want him dead? What would that prove? I just don't understand what is going on here!" Daniel was still trying to come up with a solution to end this test. "This just doesn't make any sense. I speak more than a dozen languages and I cannot save my best friend from all this needless suffering. I'm supposed to be a linguist, able to talk our way out of dangerous situations. But not this time! Jack depends on me to handle the diplomatic negotiations. And I let him down!" 

Teal'c and Sam both observed Daniel as he made this confession, his expressions clearly showing the guilt he felt. The Colonel and Daniel, now there was a pair, both accepted more blame and responsibility than should have been humanly possible. Both of them were masters at assuming guilt and blame. At least Daniel would talk things out and work through them, though. 

"Daniel Jackson, was it not Colonel O'Neill's decision to undertake this test? There was nothing you could have said or done to have prevented the outcome!" 

"Daniel, Teal'c is correct, we don't need to be wasting time and energy on blaming ourselves! Let's just help the Colonel endure the final day and high tail it back to the Stargate so he can receive the medical help he needs. Okay, Daniel? Now come on let's try to get some food and water in him." 

Daniel's mood seemed to lighten with Teal'c and Sam's words of encouragement. He slowly made his way over to where his friend was dozing, sliding down beside him and rubbing his brow with a wet cool cloth. Jack began to murmur and move around with the touch. With a gasp his eyes shot open and he stared at Daniel. 

Sam was rummaging through their packs for more medical supplies to change Jack's bandages. Noticing the noise coming from her CO, she looked up then walked toward him. The Colonel’s color and general appearance did not look good. He was too pale and his eyes still had that distant look. Infection from the knife wound was a real possibility... 

"Colonel, do you think you could eat and drink a little water? I also need to check and change your bandages." She received no response and it was unnerving. From the confused look on his face it was like he was having a hard time figuring out what was real and what was not. Was that distrust she saw in his face? Oh, God what was the Colonel thinking? 

"Jack, it's Daniel, do you recognize me?" Daniel glanced to Sam when there was not a response. 

Like a light bulb had gone on, Jack abruptly responded, "Of course I recognize you, Daniel. My brains didn't get that scrambled. I was just half-asleep, nothing to worry about." Everyone including Jack knew this was not entirely the truth. 

"O'Neill, I think it is time to leave this place." Teal'c said out loud what all of them were thinking. 

Jack was attempting to sit up and sip from the canteen Daniel held for him. Sam retrieved some of the food the locals had furnished them with earlier, passing it to the Colonel. "I'm really not very hungry, Major. Thanks anyway, give my portion to Daniel, he always enjoys trying out the local cuisine." 

Again trying to relieve some of the stress from his team, he might have succeeded if his breathing had not been so ragged. Teal'c seeing his friend in distress placed a hand gently but firmly on his shoulder. Jack looked up and nodded; no words necessary. These friends had been to Hell and back together, the support and trust they held for each other clearly evident. 

Sam motioned for Daniel and Teal'c to ease Jack back down, so she could check his wounds. Bone tired and in pain he allowed them to lay him gently back on the pallet. Sam proceeded to clean and change the bandages; talking softly and keeping in contact with Jack at all times. She was sure her CO was still having problems separating the past from the present. 

"Major, I'm fine, you guys can go on and eat. Just let me lay here and rest." Jack was trying to sound confident, even as the sweat continued to drip down his face. He laid his arm across his eyes, hoping to hide some of his discomfort from this group who had become his family. 

Trying hard to push aside the demons that were so desperately trying to consume him, Jack's mind started to wander down the dark paths that had been breached. Trying desperately to regain some control over the situation, Jack's breathing was becoming more and more harsh. He was trying desperately to keep from falling into the dark depths that were threatening to engulf him. A steady hand on his shoulder seemed to draw him back toward the light and from the darkness. As he struggled to open his eyes, he heard Daniel speaking softly and rubbing his arm. Sam passed him a wet cool cloth to sponge off his face and neck. The coolness and the calmness of hearing his friend's voices enabled Jack to calm himself. 

"O'Neill, we are here. What can we do to assist you?" Anyone who knew what to look for could plainly see the concern on the Former Jaffa's face. 

"Give me a minute here, Teal'c." Their CO and friend was struggling. His breathing and heart rate was beginning to even out at more acceptable levels. Now he just had to convince himself that this was some sort of flashback and not happening here and now. The team watched as different emotions played across their friend's face, wishing they could help him through this nightmare! 

"Jack, talk to us. Was it another flashback from your past? Tell us what we can do to help." Daniel was still rubbing his shoulder and wiping his face with the cool cloth. He wanted to keep his friend grounded and aware of his surroundings. He had to keep him from falling back into the past. 

"Another time, another place. Not one ….I particularly… wanted to revisit. It's okay …I'm back." Jack patted Daniel on his arm to reassure him. 

"Sir, how is the pain? I'm sorry I can't give you any pain medication; I don't know how much damage there is. The drugs could just mask any symptoms that we need to be aware of." 

"I know, Major. I'm fine. Try and get some sleep." 

The rest of the night seemed uneventful, except to Jack who continued to experience very real flashbacks or nightmares. He couldn't really tell the difference at this point. He was staying as quiet as possible so he would not disturb the rest of the team. A little movement sounded like a good idea to Jack, as it was difficult for him to remain still. Although he knew this little walk about would cause some pain, it would still be worth it. He felt certain he would acquire a walking companion once he left the confines of their hut. After all, they were still unwilling guests of this planet. Just as suspected, two guards approached him intending to halt his progress. 

"Relax guys, I'm just taking a little stroll. You can even join me if you like." The two kept close tabs on the Colonel as he stretched his long legs. It was probably more staggering than walking, but it did feel good just to get out in the night air and stare into the stars. When he was home he would spend many nights up on the roof with his telescope. The stars had always provided much needed calm and peace to a man who had very little of either in his life. The soft grass looked suddenly inviting and he lay down, staring into the twinkling lights above. Mentally, picking out the stars that belonged to his deceased son Charlie, the one he had given to his friend Kawalsky, even Daniel had once been presented with a star. 'Let's not go there Jack, damn Oannes anyway, making us all believe Daniel had burned to death before our eyes.' He had witnessed so many friends' deaths. Over the years he had tried to build walls against all the pain and sorrow that he had experienced. Jack O'Neill was a master at hiding emotion. ****

Part 4 

Finally bidding a goodbye to the stars above, Jack rose slowly, stiff and hurting, making it to his unsteady feet. The escorts were still watching him like hawks. Like he would abandon his team, even if he could run, that was not going to happen. As he approached closer to their position, one of the guards grabbed him and held his arms. Jack, shocked by this action, grunted and attempted to free his arms. All this got him was a fist across the mouth followed up with another. In his weakened condition Jack was not able to fight, and was dragged away from the village. Several times during the journey he fought his way to consciousness only to be hit or kicked again. Joining again the land of the conscious, Jack was aware of someone crying. Prying his eyes open, it appeared to be dark, maybe there was a little light. Moving very slowly and checking for his captors, it appeared to be a cave. Jack fully opened his eyes and in the corner there sat a child, arms wrapped around her chest and sobbing. 

"Hi, what is your name? My name is Jack." 

The child stared at him with frightened eyes and moved even further into the corner. Jack was slowly making his way toward her; almost crawling, his chest and side had definitely taken the force of the blows. Noticing a wet, slick feeling on his hand, Jack became aware of the bleeding from the knife wound he had received two days ago. Had it only been two days? 'Damn, Carter is going to kill me for messing up her handiwork. All those first aid classes have made her into a real pro since Antarctica.' Trying hard to concentrate on this latest turn of events, he wondered what in the Hell was going on here! Probably some rebel troops. Reaching out toward the child, Jack continued to talk softly and rub her arm gently. The little girl pulled away at first, and he continued soothing her with his soft whispers. 

"Lethea," the small voice behind the scared eyes finally spoke. 

"What a cool name. Who brought you here?" Jack was gently rubbing her arm. This whole situation just didn't make any sense. 

"Those warriors took me from my bed and left me here." 

"Let's see about blowing this pop stand, okay?" Jack grinned when he saw the confused look on the child's face. She seemed to relax when she saw the smile on his face. 

"Well, I am glad somebody appreciates my jokes." Jack was trying to get his feet under him, when a little arm wrapped around his waist with a little nudge. He looked down into a wide-eyed smiling face. 

"Sweet, together we can do this, okay? Come on let's roll." He didn't know if he would be able to get them back to the village, he was feeling weak and shaky. But he was nothing if not determined to help this child. Taking a moment to look around and listen for any signs of danger, they proceeded slowly in the direction of the village. Because he’d been unconscious most of the trip he was not certain how far they had traveled. He concentrated on taking one step at a time, as he'd done in a place not so long ago back on Earth, something about a parachuting accident. He didn't want to think about that. 

"So, you don't happen to have any water, do you?" 

"We have water in our hut!" She was very excited to share this information with him. 

Unfortunately, the trip to the hut was not going to be a fast one. This could take all night at the rate they were moving. Jack could make out a faint sound in the distance, and from the look on her face; Lethea also heard the sound. Lethea started to move toward the noises, but Jack held her back. He had to be sure if it was friend or foe. Slowly they moved toward the sounds. It was becoming more difficult for him to stay focused. The pain and the dizziness were difficult to control. He was trying to concentrate; it sounded more like animal noises. Unsure of the type of animal they might encounter, he stopped walking and held the child back. In his current condition and without a weapon he would not be able to defend this child. Backing away from the direction they had been heading, the sounds were getting closer and closer. He knew that he could not allow anything to happen to this little girl. Jack pushed the child down the trail and told her to run. Startled, she didn't want to leave her new friend. 

"Go now, run!" barked Jack. He gave her a not too gentle push to get her on the way. He had to get her as far from here as possible. Trying to get the animals attention directed at him, he began to move toward them yelling. They appeared to be some sort of wild dogs. Wolves, great, even I know they travel in packs. I like dogs, just not ones with teeth like that. Focus Jack, oh shit, is my vision screwed up that much, are there really 6 of them. Holy buckets, I think I'm in trouble.' Glancing behind him, Lethea was no longer in sight; hopefully the creatures had decided he would make a better meal. 'It's all that pizza and beer you eat, Jack. Oh great, making jokes at a time like this. You really are delirious. Now would be a good time for the Calvary, not in the cards I bet!' Damn, they were starting to circle, and he looked down for a branch or anything to use as a weapon, when the first dog attacked. Jack latched onto a piece of wood and swung at the dog, making contact. The creature whimpered and appeared to be stunned, but the rest of the pack was closing in. 

"Jaaaaack! No, no, no, leave him alone!" Lethea ran towards the animals, waving wildly with her arms as in chasing them away from her injured friend. 

"Lethea, no run, please." Jack had to protect this little girl; he could not watch another child die because of him. He was swinging wildly at the dogs and crawling towards the little girl. 

"You leave her alone." Determination was clear in his voice. One final lunge and he covered her body with his own. The animals nipping and biting him but he continued to shield her from the attack. There appeared to be some commotion scaring the dogs away, but Jack was barely conscious, so it only vaguely registered in his mind. All he heard was the tiny whimpers coming from this innocent little girl. 

"O'Neill, you can let go of her now, the creatures are gone." Teal'c was attempting to roll the Colonel over on his back, but he refused to let go of the child. He struck out hitting Teal'c in the chest. In Jack's weakened state it was really more like a glancing blow, not even making the big man flinch. Daniel moved in to help with his friend, trying to restrain him. Even in his weak condition it was difficult to hold him. Daniel let go of his arms and grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to make eye contact. 

"Jack look at me, its Daniel." Jack was trying to focus on Daniel and sorted through all the confusing thoughts in his mind. He slowly let go of the child and collapsed into a heap, his eyes rolling up in his head. 

Krozack came forward to take the child into his arms, but the little girl had no intention of leaving her friend. Seeing this reaction from the girl, he left her to keep vigil over this man. So, his feelings about this human were correct, this O'Neill would die rather than allow this child to be harmed. He was trying to protect her at any cost, guard a child this human did not even know. This had not really surprised him as he had witnessed the loyalty and compassion he held for his pack. There would be no further need to testthese people. He just hoped O'Neill's life could be saved. It would be a real tragedy for this man to die. His friends would save him. The first day they had requested to take him back to the big circle and return home for help. Now that would be allowed. 

"Major Carter, I believe we should take O'Neill back through the Stargate as soon as possible. Krozack, do you now believe O'Neill is a man of honor and worthy of your trust?" Holding his friend and CO, his eyes as dark as coals, he stared at Krozack, daring him to object. The former Jaffa was ready and willing to take this man apart if needed. This whole situation had been extremely stressful on the team. He supposed deep down he understood the need to be sure of their allies. Krozack had told them the story of trusting visitors and these very same visitors killing and burning the land. But now to find out there were people in the village that would try and sabotage the alliance between Earth and this world, it was beyond belief. These men who would kidnap a child from her home and set up O'Neill to make it look as if he were the culprit. They failed to recognize the determination in their CO to make certain this child remained safe. 

"Yes, please take care of him. You will be allowed to leave. Please know we are truly sorry for this. But I had to make sure. My people's lives and future are at stake. We would be honored to meet and talk of future relations between our people. And I am sorry for the traitors in our pack, it was not expected. Tell your Colonel O'Neill we would be honored if he chose to visit our planet after his body has healed. I understand now, why he has the trust and devotion of you all. I only wish the circumstances had been different. I would be honored to call him Friend.Please relay this message to him." 

"Krozack, I heard you. We will come back. I need to check on a certain young lady." Jack took the little girl's hand in his and held it tightly. "I can't fault you for wanting to… protect your people. Though I do wish you had a better plan for… detecting liars. Maybe with our support… you won't have to be so… afraid of visitors. Except Snake heads!" Jack's breathing was becoming quick and shallow. 

"Sir, please, I need to clean your wounds and then we'll get you back to Stargate Command, ASAP. Daniel, get me some disinfectant and bandages. Teal'c, get me some water. Try to lie still, Sir." 

Jack looked to his young friend and winked "She's getting kinda bossy? We better do as she says, she has a mean… left hook." Lethea was listening to every word her friend was saying and smiling. Although, she failed to understand most of it, she did understand that this man had saved her young life. Her tiny hand was clutching the much larger hand tightly. 

Jack was fighting the overwhelming urge to pass out; black dots seemed to be swimming in front of his eyes. Closing his eyes, and concentrating on taking slow, even breaths, he was trying to push the dizziness and pain to the back, while Carter cleaned his wounds and bandaged them as best as she could. In spite of the battered shape of his body and mind, he still could not help but smile. These people might have been misguided in their approach, but he knew they were good people. People he would also be honored to call Friends. 

Daniel broke the silence. "Okay, Jack, do you think you can walk or do we need to carry you?" 

Jack gave him that, don't you even try it look **.** Daniel knew his friend hated asking for help, but this time he knew Jack would have no choice in the matter. He, Teal'c and Sam would be right there beside him the whole time to lend that much needed helping hand, whether Jack realized he needed it or not. Daniel and Teal'c helped a swaying Jack to his feet. 

"Lethea, take good… care of your people. I will be back… to see you… soon." His little friend wrapped her arms around his waist as the tall Colonel returned the gesture with as much strength as he could gather. 

Jack faced Krozack and shook the older man's hand. The friends turned and started their long journey to the Stargate. 

Sam knew frequent stops would be needed to allow the Colonel to rest. He would definitely argue that point, but she had no intention of giving in to him. As Second in Command it was her responsibility to take over Command if the Colonel was not able to continue in his duties. Not that she was trying to take over; she just wanted to make sure he would take care of himself. Her CO had a bad habit of pushing himself too hard and fast even when injured, and she had no intention of letting him do that. Sam also realized that she had Daniel and Teal'c backing her. The Colonel couldn't fight them all. Though after closely looking at him, she had her doubts he had enough strength to walk, much less argue with them. He had bites and puncture wounds scattered all over his body, along with the previous knife injury that had started to bleed again. The bites did not appear to be life threatening, but with all the previous injuries, he was in danger of going into shock. She stole a quick glance at Teal'c and Daniel. No words were necessary; their faces mirrored the concern she was feeling. One look at the Colonel, and Sam knew it was time for a break. 

"Daniel, Teal'c. Let's take a break." Teal'c and Daniel eased Jack down to a sitting position; it seemed to help him breathe easier. Sweat was pouring down his face and neck. His glassy eyes slid shut and he was trying to pace his breathing. Pain was evident in his face and he held a clenched fist tight against his chest. Daniel wiped his brow and offered him some water, which he sipped slowly. The Colonel knew if he drank too much, he could choke and coughing would not be a good idea at this time. 

"Teal'c, how much farther do you think it is?" Sam was wishing like her CO often had, that these villages would be built closer to the Stargate. Damn it, she felt so helpless. 

"Major Carter, I estimate another day. Should we not make camp here and start out early in the morning?" They could make it in much less time than that, but the Colonel had to rest. 

"Major, I'm fine, let's push on." 

"No Colonel, it will be dark soon, we're making camp." 

"Hey, I give the orders here." With a sly grin added. "Looks like a great place to make camp, don't you think?" To be honest, Jack knew he couldn't move another step, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to breathe and the pain was getting damn difficult to control. Even the wound in his side was making an appearance. He was beginning to feel every one of those years he had earned. All he really wanted to do was curl up and sleep; if the pain would just let him. His eyes were becoming heavy and he allowed them to shut. 

"Daniel, give the Colonel some of this water, we need to keep him hydrated." 

Daniel moved over beside Jack and gently shook his shoulder. When there was no response he checked his pulse and found it no better, maybe a little rapid. Hoping his friend was resting, he walked over to talk with Sam and Teal'c. 

"He's asleep, probably the best thing for him. Do you think he is in much pain? You know Jack, he would never tell us." 

"Yes Daniel, I am sure he is. But there is really nothing we can do about it. I'm still afraid to give him any pain medication. The Black OP Training he received taught him how to control the pain. I guess that's one good thing that came from that part of his life." Disgust was evident in her voice. 

"Major Carter I do not understand, does it upset you that O'Neill was once in this Black OPs?" Teal'c thought it was an honor to serve in the service of ones Country. 

"No Teal'c. Some of these guys were turned into killing machines, no feelings, emotions, they send them into the most dangerous locations around the world and expect them to make it out on their own. From what I hear the Colonel was one of the best, but he was able to keep his integrity and not always follow orders like a good soldier. I suspect that is why he is still a Colonel. That and he would never want to be behind a desk all day. Can you see the Colonel sitting at a desk job with all that paper work? But he still has dents in that armor of his from those days that will never give him the peace and calm he deserves." 

"Jack was a cold, by the book hard- ass on that first mission to Abydos," Daniel recalled. "He had no life in his eyes, no emotion. I thought it was because of Charlie, but maybe it was all that Black OP stuff he was involved with. It's scary the military could use a man still grieving the death of his son and turn him into a weapon of mass destruction. He's a different man now, he could never go back to that life again." 

"Daniel, the Colonel is a career military man, if they ordered him on a mission, he would go. Just like the Tollan incident, he feels it is his duty. But I'm not saying he would do anything against his beliefs, he would find a way to accomplish his orders, without compromising. You know him; we all know what he is capable of. I hate to say this, but he is one of those killing machines, he just never fell over the deep end like so many of the ops did." 

"Colonel O'Neill has done what is necessary to protect his country and now the universe. Without all the training and missions he may not have been as skilled as he is. We would have all suffered the consequences if O'Neill did not have the experience of a seasoned warrior" Teal'c hoped his teammates understood the sacrifices their CO had made in the name of freedom. 

How this whole conversation had gotten started, nobody knew. But it certainly had provided some things to think about. There really was nothing to think about, Jack was a good man, yes, he had been ordered to do some questionable things in the name of freedom. But like Sam had said, Jack was able to serve his country and also keep his integrity and beliefs intact. Daniel decided it was time for him to try and get some sleep. 

"Guys, I'm going to get some sleep. Who wants first watch?" 

"Major Carter, I will take first watch" 

"Wake me up in 3, Teal'c. Daniel you get the morning watch. We need to get an early start." 

Teal'c watched as his teammates settled in for the night. His eyes wandered over to the sleeping body of the human who had convinced him to turn his back on the System Lords. It was still amazing to Teal'c how O'Neill had stood up and declared: " **I can save these people** " And the rest is history, as O'Neill would say. A slight grin slid across the former Jaffa's face, this man that had become his friend could be the most confusing and irritating human but there was not another person he trusted or respected more. 

A moaning sound stirred him from his thoughts; he looked to his CO. He moved over to kneel beside his friend. Jack was moaning softly. Teal'c wiped his face with a cool cloth and lightly shook his shoulder to awaken him. He feared that once again his friend was caught in the throes of a nightmare. Having lived with nightmares for years, he knew how debilitating they could be and in his already weakened state he did not know if his friend had the strength to battle them. 

"O'Neill, wake up." Teal'c gently shook his friend. 

With a startled jerk, Jack's glassy eyes flew open, the pain and confusion evident in the unfocused gaze. The soldier struck out toward the bulky body of the Jaffa striking him across the chin. Teal'c caught the struggling man's arms and pinned them to his sides. Not concerned for his own well being, but afraid his friend might do further damage to himself. 

"O'Neill, your are safe." 

Iraq, prisons and dying soldiers, inhumane conditions, beatings, hungry and thirst, blood and torture. 'Major Jonathan O'Neill, USAF’ he'd repeated it over and over again. Another blow to the body, Jack had learned to disconnect from his beatings, push it deeper and deeper away. Charlie and Sara smiling, their happy faces a life preserver in this dark, ugly world. The only world that he had known for…4 months…he had lost track of time. Another blow to the face, and Jack lashed out at his attacker. ' Yeah, I made contact, a little satisfaction, oh yeah I'll pay for that but it will be worth it.' Jack smiled to himself as he felt his arms being restrained. 'That voice, I should know that voice. Safe, that hand does feel comforting on my shoulder, God what kind of trick is this? But it feels and sounds so familiar, focus Jack, try harder.' 

"God, Teal'c is that you?" 

"Yes, O'Neill it is I." Teal'c could see his CO was struggling to gain control. He kept his hand on his friend's shoulder for reassurance. He could see the soldier slowly relax and calm his ragged breathing. Remaining quiet, he knew O'Neill would speak when and if he got ready. O'Neill was a proud man and did not like to show weakness. But it was obvious this particular nightmare had taken its toll on an already battered body. He needed to be delivered into the capable hands of Dr. Janet Fraiser as soon as possible. 

"Teal'c, can I have a drink?" 

. The Jaffa held the canteen to his team leader’s mouth and the Colonel drank greedily. 

"Thanks, Teal'c. What's our situation? Sam, Daniel…." Coughing deeply and holding his chest, Teal'c leaned his friend against his chest and gently rubbed his back. 

"Sorry, thanks, uh, a little too much water, I guess." 

"O'Neill, your nightmare, was it about that child?" 

"No, another time, another place." Jack looked at Teal'c and realized this man who had become his friend, deserved better than a smart-ass remark. 

"Iraq, I was a guest in an Iraqi Prison for a few months. Not a good experience, no, not good at all." A blank look washed over Jack's face and his words came to a halt. 

O'Neill's eyes slid shut. Pain was still etched on his face, but he appeared to be resting. Teal'c only hoped that the nightmares would not return this night. 

******************************* 

Daniel was busy making coffee, as the rest of the team started stirring. Jack had been awake for a while, but had remained quiet; his team was losing entirely too much sleep because of him. He heard Daniel approach his side and check his forehead for fever. Jack opened his eyes and gave him what he hoped was his best confident grin. Daniel wiped his face with a cool cloth and gave him a drink of water. 

"Thanks, Daniel. I can't believe you are actually up before me." Jack always fell back on lame jokes to lighten the mood. 

"Well, Jack it could have something to do with the fact, that Oh, I don't know, you've been beaten to pulp."Jack's latest battles with his demons had also awaked Daniel. He wished he knew how to help his friend, but he suspected this experience was just another in a long line that Jack had learned to cope with on his own. On his own **,** this man didn't actually deal with stuff; he pushed it deep to that place where no one was allowed to breach. 

"Hey, I can take a beating as good as the next fool." Again Jack was relying on his defense mechanism of humor. "Teal'c, how far to the Stargate? I figure about 6 hours, if you guys don't have to carry the old man all the way." 

"That is correct, we should be at the Stargate in 6 hours. As you are aware, O'Neill, I am quite strong and can carry you if the need arises. You will not hinder our progress." 

SG-1 arrived at the Gate, with a stubborn CO who had finally collapsed from exhaustion as anticipated 3 hours into the trek. And as promised one strong Jaffa Warrior had carried his CO the rest of the distance. 

Daniel was busy with the DHD punching in the correct address for Earth. Sam was waiting patiently to enter the confirmation codes with the GDO. Jack stirred, so Teal'c laid him down to check on his condition. Knowing his CO, Teal'c knew that Jack would want to exit the wormhole on the other side under his own power. 

"Teal'c, I can walk, just help me up." No way was Jack going to allow the Jaffa to carry him down the ramp. Maybe assisted, but not carried! Jack hauled himself up to his feet and waited for the wormhole to establish. Okay, his legs were a little wobbly and he was a little dizzy, but he wouldn't need to be carried. 

Teal'c and Daniel both noticed how weak Jack looked and both slid an arm around his waist. Their friend gave them a crooked smile and eagerly accepted the help. 

Sam was the first to exit on the ramp and immediately started yelling for the medical team. Teal'c and Daniel came through with their CO barely able to stay on his feet. 

"There's no place like home." A grin plastered on his face, Jack just couldn't help the sarcastic remark. 

Dr. Janet Fraiser came running up to the ramp and met Daniel and Teal'c, taking one look at the Colonel, despite the "I'm okay grin", ordered them to escort him to the Infirmary. 

[Continue to Part 2](http://astele.co.uk/StargateFan/Chapter/Details/truecourage2.html)

  


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>   
> © March 5, 2001  
> The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television,   
> Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd.   
> Partnership.  
> This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment.   
> All other characters, the story idea and the story itself   
> are the sole property of the author.   
> 

  


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##### This is my first attempt at fanfiction. Feedback would be greatly appreciated. 

Many, many thanks to **Corine, Tanya and Mary** for their patience, support, offered ideas and much needed suggestions to make this better. Also thanks for the encouragement. And Corine a special thanks to you. I know when you encouraged me to write a fic, you had no idea how much of your time you would be devoting to me. THANKS 

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